how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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