I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
