I hate all girls vehemently.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
