so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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