i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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