Someone shit on the floor
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
