So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
