I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
