So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
