This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
