Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
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do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
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Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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