And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
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You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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