I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
