you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
