Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
