accomplished twins. life is a go
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
