you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
