i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I need to stop coming to work sober
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
