Midget sex pt 2 tonight
That's when you crack a 10am beer
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
