he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
