your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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