sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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