I can tuck mytits in my pants
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
