I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Let's paint friendship bongs
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
