U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
