You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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