Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Pooping to opera.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
