Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
