dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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