She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
