Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
