i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
