I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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