He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
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Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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