Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
