one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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