is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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