so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize