She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
babies were throwing up all over the place
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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