I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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