So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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