how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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