HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
