I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize