: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
