He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
