Pappa wants mamma naked
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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