Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
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I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
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Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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