its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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