What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We got so high we made milksteak
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
