I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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