So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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