no, he came in my armpit
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
This house was built for laser tag.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
