do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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