You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
