I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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