He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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