I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she woke up with a sticky ear
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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