I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
