Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
