She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
